This morning I went to church with a very heavy heart.
I almost didn't go, but I know that I need fellowship.
So I went, expecting to be quite and to myself,
I just wanted to be with God.
Which isn't a bad thing,
but we were created for community.
We need each other because we were made that way.
As soon as I got to church love filled the air.
God made sure I knew I was loved.
He wouldn't have me be alone. :)
After the service began we took part in the Lord's supper.
I've never been more serious about this act.
It isn't just a ritual.
It's parallel of such a wonderful truth. :)
As we were taking the Lord's supper
I heard a young girl as her father several questions.
Children are so precious an innocent.
It's no wonder God told us to accept Him as a child.
After several questions she dropped the A-bomb.
"Why did He have to die?"
My heart sank.
Tears filled my eyes.
This is one of the most important questions
that any of us could ever face in life.
I don't know if you've ever truly spent time
meditating upon this question or not,
but if you haven't, I ask you to do so.
Jesus didn't just come to die to show His love.
Yes, that's what lead Him to do it,
but that is not why He "had" to.
I say "had" because Jesus in fact didn't have to.
We sinned.
He could have said too bad, you had your chance,
but love would have none of that.
So, what made death necessary?
Sin.
Because we each have chosen sin over God
we had offended God.
We have spat in His Holy face
and didn't really care.
Every time we sinned and knew what we were doing,
we might as well told God He isn't that important.
So sin deserves death.
It's Biblical.
We know that.
But our physical death did not satisfy the wrath of God.
We must be judged and punished.
People wrestle with this.
"If God is love how can He send people to hell?"
You're really asking the wrong question.
Because God IS love and is perfectly just,
sin MUST be paid for.
If God just closed His eyes and ignored our sin
He would be and unholy and unjust god.
But He isn't.
So it had to be atoned for.
And our animal sacrifices weren't cutting it.
In my life, there probably aren't enough animals in
all of the world to atone for me.
So Jesus, being blameless came
and died.
Ever wondered why Jesus was under so much pain and stress?
Many people were martyred and rejoiced.
Jesus, was sweating blood.
He felt forsaken by God just as David did in Psalm 22.
Why?
Jesus wasn't just dying.
He literally was taking our judgment.
He took on the entire worlds sin,
and accepted the judgment and punishment that
you, me and the world deserved.
And the power and love of God
was STILL greater than our sin.
Jesus is my Crown.
Because of Him I have life.
And best believe I'm gonna let people know. :)
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Christ Jesus
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him was not any thing made that was made. John 1:1-3
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:15-17
Christ is God. He has everything. He has all power and authority. He rules everything because He created it. He can do what He pleases.
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philippians 2:5-8
Think about this.
Jesus is God.
If He wanted, He could have left us in our sin and sent us to hell.
He had the right.
We messed up. We chose sin over Him.
BUT.
Even though He had all the right to judge us and send us to be punished, being God, He humbled Himself.
GOD HUMBLED HIMSELF, to the point of being a servant.
God left heaven, came to earth, lived a perfect life, endured hardships, pains, sickness, long days, everything.
Why?
To die.
He was obedient unto death.
For what?
He was blameless.
For our sin.
The very God who created us and told us what not to do is the same God who came and DIED to forgive us.
Do you get that?
There is NOTHING more beautiful than that.
Nothing.
Praise God.Monday, October 11, 2010
John 6:1-21
V.1 "After this" Because this is mentioned obviously we should know what happened before. From the end of John 5 to 6 up to 6 months had passed. This story is part of the synoptic gospels so it's in all four of the gospels. Upon looking at the others we find that this is after Jesus sent the disciples out to preach and heal. They have been gone about six months so Jesus is taking them to a desolate place to allow them some downtime. They are most likely tired, despite their excitement from all that happened, and Jesus is wanting them to rest and tell about their experiences.
V.2 But a large crowd, easily 20,000 people, had started following Jesus; but only because of the signs He had done.
V.4 This verse may seem out of place but it's important in knowing the time of year, also this is the second of three passovers during Jesus' ministry.
V.5 Jesus saw the crowd and asked Philip (this was his hometown) where they could buy food for all these people. *Numbers 11:13
V.6 Of course, Jesus knew it wasn't impossible, but He wanted to test His disciples and see how much faith they had.
V.7 Philip states that 200 day's wages wouldn't feed all these people even just for each to get a little.
V.8-9 Andrew, Simon's brother, state that a boy had a little food but went on to say "what are they for so many?" *Numbers 11:22
V.10 Jesus had them sit down in groups
V.11 Jesus blessed the bread with this prayer: "Blessed are you God, King of the Universe, Who brings forth bread from the earth." Think about this. Jesus used a prayer and stated that God is the one who brings forth bread and what was Jesus doing? He multiplied bread. He created it. Certainly what they had wasn't enough. So Jesus, in saying God creates and brings bread while doing it is Him stating He IS God. *They got as much bread and fish as they wanted.
V.12-13 He told his disciples to gather up the leftovers. 12 full baskets. The parallel of this story and Moses (notice the references to Numbers) is wonderful. 12 baskets? 12 tribes of Israel? 12 doubting disciples? You draw what you feel. There are hundreds of lessons from that.
V.14 When they saw this the people said, "this is surely the prophet who has come into the world!" Deuteronomy 18:15-20 Goes back to Moses again. God told Moses about Jesus that long ago. :)
He promised He would come from Moses' seed also, and Jesus did. *Matthew 1:1-17
V.15 Jesus knew the people were about to take Him and try and force Him to be king of Rome. Jesus' kingship on earth was spiritual, not physical. So, despite the temptation of having power, Jesus withdrew from the people. *After this the disciples for the first time acknowledged Jesus as the Christ. *Luke 9:18-20 and Mark 8:27-30
V.2 But a large crowd, easily 20,000 people, had started following Jesus; but only because of the signs He had done.
V.4 This verse may seem out of place but it's important in knowing the time of year, also this is the second of three passovers during Jesus' ministry.
V.5 Jesus saw the crowd and asked Philip (this was his hometown) where they could buy food for all these people. *Numbers 11:13
V.6 Of course, Jesus knew it wasn't impossible, but He wanted to test His disciples and see how much faith they had.
V.7 Philip states that 200 day's wages wouldn't feed all these people even just for each to get a little.
V.8-9 Andrew, Simon's brother, state that a boy had a little food but went on to say "what are they for so many?" *Numbers 11:22
V.10 Jesus had them sit down in groups
V.11 Jesus blessed the bread with this prayer: "Blessed are you God, King of the Universe, Who brings forth bread from the earth." Think about this. Jesus used a prayer and stated that God is the one who brings forth bread and what was Jesus doing? He multiplied bread. He created it. Certainly what they had wasn't enough. So Jesus, in saying God creates and brings bread while doing it is Him stating He IS God. *They got as much bread and fish as they wanted.
V.12-13 He told his disciples to gather up the leftovers. 12 full baskets. The parallel of this story and Moses (notice the references to Numbers) is wonderful. 12 baskets? 12 tribes of Israel? 12 doubting disciples? You draw what you feel. There are hundreds of lessons from that.
V.14 When they saw this the people said, "this is surely the prophet who has come into the world!" Deuteronomy 18:15-20 Goes back to Moses again. God told Moses about Jesus that long ago. :)
He promised He would come from Moses' seed also, and Jesus did. *Matthew 1:1-17
V.15 Jesus knew the people were about to take Him and try and force Him to be king of Rome. Jesus' kingship on earth was spiritual, not physical. So, despite the temptation of having power, Jesus withdrew from the people. *After this the disciples for the first time acknowledged Jesus as the Christ. *Luke 9:18-20 and Mark 8:27-30
V.16-17 The disciples started back across the sea again without Jesus because He was spending time alone praying to His Father.
V18. The sea had become stormy as it frequently did because of it's geographical location.
V.19 Then they see Jesus walking on water (Mark 6:48 He meant to "pass by" them. Greek: parerchomai just as God "passed" by Moses giving Him a glimpse of His glory! *Job 8:9) yet when they saw Him they did not recognize Him in the darkness and storm. They thought He was a ghost. Matthew 14:26 tells they actually cried out in fear.
V.20 Jesus said, "it is I; do not be afraid." The Greek phrase used: ego eimi actually is translated I AM.
Verses 19 and 20 are so important. In the Old Testament it is made clear ONLY God has authority and power over creation. Psalm 29:10-11, and *Psalm 107:28-30 and Jesus was WALKING on water in the middle of a storm! Three to four miles! Also, when Jesus uses I AM to identify Himself He is saying the same thing God the Father used in Exodus 3:14 when telling Moses who He was.
V.21 They immediately took Him onto the boat and the very moment they did they arrived safely at their destination. **Psalm 107:28-30 again. :)
*Jesus sent His disciples away to pray. Even Jesus' number one priority was spending time with God. Is it ours?
*Even after that much time they did not recognize Jesus during the storm. Ever have a hard time seeing God during a storm in life?
*Peter, walked on water. He didn't sink until he took his eyes off of Jesus and looked at the mess around him. Where is your focus?
*Even when Peter lost faith he still knew who to call on. Not only that, Jesus still took his hand and lifted him up. :)
V18. The sea had become stormy as it frequently did because of it's geographical location.
V.19 Then they see Jesus walking on water (Mark 6:48 He meant to "pass by" them. Greek: parerchomai just as God "passed" by Moses giving Him a glimpse of His glory! *Job 8:9) yet when they saw Him they did not recognize Him in the darkness and storm. They thought He was a ghost. Matthew 14:26 tells they actually cried out in fear.
V.20 Jesus said, "it is I; do not be afraid." The Greek phrase used: ego eimi actually is translated I AM.
Verses 19 and 20 are so important. In the Old Testament it is made clear ONLY God has authority and power over creation. Psalm 29:10-11, and *Psalm 107:28-30 and Jesus was WALKING on water in the middle of a storm! Three to four miles! Also, when Jesus uses I AM to identify Himself He is saying the same thing God the Father used in Exodus 3:14 when telling Moses who He was.
V.21 They immediately took Him onto the boat and the very moment they did they arrived safely at their destination. **Psalm 107:28-30 again. :)
*Jesus sent His disciples away to pray. Even Jesus' number one priority was spending time with God. Is it ours?
*Even after that much time they did not recognize Jesus during the storm. Ever have a hard time seeing God during a storm in life?
*Peter, walked on water. He didn't sink until he took his eyes off of Jesus and looked at the mess around him. Where is your focus?
*Even when Peter lost faith he still knew who to call on. Not only that, Jesus still took his hand and lifted him up. :)
Friday, October 1, 2010
Love.
Christian.
If you say this word in other places, most embrace you.
But in America, this word makes most cringe.
Why?
The image of Christianity in America is much different than the image of the Christ we claim to follow.
When people not of the faith in America are asked what they think when they hear the word Christian, things like:
Homophobic, hypocritical, judgmental, and many others come to mind. Don't get me wrong, the world will hate us.
It hated Jesus.
But nobody ever accused Jesus of hating people.
Why?
He didn't.
And He made it known.
We grade sin.
Then we draw a line around us.
If someone jumps that line or exceeds the weight on that sin scale we don't want to love them anymore.
What. The. Crap.
Have we not read any of Jesus' words?
How about the Sermon on the Mount.
Jesus teaches us that sin is sin.
Having an affair is equal to watching porn.
Murdering someone is equal to being angry without cause.
So.
Is it really sin we hate?
If it is why are we so "okay" with ourself?
I am not minimizing sin.
I'm questioning the love we so for our brothers and sisters.
The ONLY people that Jesus ever scorned and got on to were the ones who thought they had it all together. The ones who believed they were better than everyone else.
He never, ever judged or condemned an honest sinner.
So.
Do we really wanna be like Jesus?
If we do then we seriously need to change this cycle.
People need love.
They need it.
It doesn't matter what they have done.
They still need love.
We all do.
And we are called to love them as ourself.
"So whatever you wish others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law of the Prophets. Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is HARD that leads to life, and those who find it are few." Matthew 7:12-14
If the way and amount we LOVE looks the same as the world,
we are not loving the way Christ did and called us to do.
Dare to be different.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Not Many Will Enjoy This
There are some things on my heart that must be expressed. More will disagree than agree. Some may even get mad at me, but I've learned a valuable lesson about the truth. The truth may not always be popular, but it's always true.
During his time on earth Jesus, being sinless, spent His time LOVING on tax collectors and harlets. These groups of people were the most hated and despised of all people in this culture.
Jesus loved them.
I can almost see when the religious people brought the woman caught in adultry, asking Jesus if she should be stoned. He told them whoever was without sin should throw the first stone. In time they all left because they knew they weren't perfect. Here's the beautiful part: Jesus was sinless, He could have thrown as many stones as He wanted. BUT, He didn't. He told the woman He didn't condemn her.
Today in nearly every "church" and Christian household you can hear people slander, abuse and condemn people. We often use excuses such as, "they're too bad to change" or "they don't deserve forgivness for what they've done." I view both of these excuses as ignorant.
If someone "deserved" forgivness then they wouldn't need it. We put people's sins on a grading scale to decide their worthiness, but the Bible, Jesus especially, teaches us that sin, is sin, is sin. If you think it, plan it, or do it, it's sin. Period.
So willing to accept Grace.
Too selfish to allow others.
G-d help us.
No one can "out-sin" the Grace of G-d.
During his time on earth Jesus, being sinless, spent His time LOVING on tax collectors and harlets. These groups of people were the most hated and despised of all people in this culture.
Jesus loved them.
I can almost see when the religious people brought the woman caught in adultry, asking Jesus if she should be stoned. He told them whoever was without sin should throw the first stone. In time they all left because they knew they weren't perfect. Here's the beautiful part: Jesus was sinless, He could have thrown as many stones as He wanted. BUT, He didn't. He told the woman He didn't condemn her.
Today in nearly every "church" and Christian household you can hear people slander, abuse and condemn people. We often use excuses such as, "they're too bad to change" or "they don't deserve forgivness for what they've done." I view both of these excuses as ignorant.
If someone "deserved" forgivness then they wouldn't need it. We put people's sins on a grading scale to decide their worthiness, but the Bible, Jesus especially, teaches us that sin, is sin, is sin. If you think it, plan it, or do it, it's sin. Period.
So willing to accept Grace.
Too selfish to allow others.
G-d help us.
No one can "out-sin" the Grace of G-d.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Price Check?
What is a person's salvation worth? Of course we know Jesus considered it worth everything. He wasn't JUST created, He had been. He was already in Heaven. The place we long for -yeah He left it just to make sure we could come too. And He didn't just come, die and leave. he was born, grew up, was tempted and lived perfectly, suffered and then died, then rose from death by the power of God! So when faced with this question we say nice answers, but what answer would our lives give? Ever used time as an excuse for not sharing the Gospel and love of God with someone? It wasn't worth my time. Ever been too afraid to speak up because of what someone might say or think? They weren't worth my pride. Ever used feelings as an excuse? They are less valuable than my comfort. If we compare the actions of Christ to our own we come up oh so very short. Jesus was willing to suffer and die and we are afraid of someone laughing at us. Don't even mention a chance of martyrdom. Is this simple and short life of comfort, hedonism and things, which we will lose no matter how hard we hold on, really so important that we can't give up our time, comfort, desires, feelings and yes, if God wills, even our life just so one person might know and embrace the love of God?
I must believe it's more than worth it. No salvation does not and cannot come from anyone but Jesus Christ, but sometimes people just need a glimpse of hope and a reason to believe. I can assure you with all my heart, in Heaven you will never regret the cost.
Christ sure won't. :)
I must believe it's more than worth it. No salvation does not and cannot come from anyone but Jesus Christ, but sometimes people just need a glimpse of hope and a reason to believe. I can assure you with all my heart, in Heaven you will never regret the cost.
Christ sure won't. :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
12.11.09
To those who wonder or worry, have some faith.
Th those who fuss and fight, be kind and polite.
To those who can't see the light, quit walking away from God because He is the light.
To those who suffer, Jesus says how blessed are you!
While this world may hate you, do mean and evil things to you, leave you hungry and on the road to die,
the Savior is there among you.
He didn't come for the rich, the good, or the righteous, but the poor and messed up sinners.
As if this news isn't good enough, it gets even better!
There is nothing you have to or can do to earn this forgiveness.
No, it isn't free, but Jesus already covered the cost on the cross;
where He bled and died just so you could be redeemed.
Th those who fuss and fight, be kind and polite.
To those who can't see the light, quit walking away from God because He is the light.
To those who suffer, Jesus says how blessed are you!
While this world may hate you, do mean and evil things to you, leave you hungry and on the road to die,
the Savior is there among you.
He didn't come for the rich, the good, or the righteous, but the poor and messed up sinners.
As if this news isn't good enough, it gets even better!
There is nothing you have to or can do to earn this forgiveness.
No, it isn't free, but Jesus already covered the cost on the cross;
where He bled and died just so you could be redeemed.
Monday, August 9, 2010
New Day
Today is strange, today is new, today is much different without you. Part of me is completely excited while another begs to hold on. I know change can be good, but I still feel misunderstood. As I came into Memphis today all I could see were HUGE fancy churches and people starving in the streets.
God?
Surely this isn't your will.
This can't be the Kingdom you've willed.
These people need help, but all we care about is how nice our church buildings are.
Forget about love.
We don't care about starving children or desperate men and women.
Just give us three million dollar buildings, huge projection boards, flashing lights, expensive clothes, safe sermons, fake smiles, big programs, and nobody feels guilty.
Eventually we don't even notice the poor anymore.
And if we do notice we assume they deserve to be in the situation they are.
Hypocrites.
We all deserve hell. Yet Jesus died for each one of us and took on the wrath that you and I deserve. We are so willing to accept all that we are given, but we become selfish and greedy.
"For God so loved the world that He gave...."
The evidence of love is giving.
Think about it. When people love, they give. They give time, love, patience, gifts, forgiveness, whatever is desired or needed.
But what are we giving?
In James 2:15-17 it says "If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food (sounds a lot like homeless people) and one of you says, go in peace, be warmed and filled, (a lot like our ritual of God bless you) WITHOUT giving them the things needed,
WHAT GOOD IS IT? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
Did you catch that?
James, the brother of Jesus, tells us that all the kind words in the world don't mean junk if we don't actually help people in need. Especially when we have the means to do so.
And that doesn't always mean money.
I'm not pointing fingers at anyone.
This was written to me.
But maybe God can speak to you also.
I love you dearly.
:)
God?
Surely this isn't your will.
This can't be the Kingdom you've willed.
These people need help, but all we care about is how nice our church buildings are.
Forget about love.
We don't care about starving children or desperate men and women.
Just give us three million dollar buildings, huge projection boards, flashing lights, expensive clothes, safe sermons, fake smiles, big programs, and nobody feels guilty.
Eventually we don't even notice the poor anymore.
And if we do notice we assume they deserve to be in the situation they are.
Hypocrites.
We all deserve hell. Yet Jesus died for each one of us and took on the wrath that you and I deserve. We are so willing to accept all that we are given, but we become selfish and greedy.
"For God so loved the world that He gave...."
The evidence of love is giving.
Think about it. When people love, they give. They give time, love, patience, gifts, forgiveness, whatever is desired or needed.
But what are we giving?
In James 2:15-17 it says "If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food (sounds a lot like homeless people) and one of you says, go in peace, be warmed and filled, (a lot like our ritual of God bless you) WITHOUT giving them the things needed,
WHAT GOOD IS IT? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
Did you catch that?
James, the brother of Jesus, tells us that all the kind words in the world don't mean junk if we don't actually help people in need. Especially when we have the means to do so.
And that doesn't always mean money.
I'm not pointing fingers at anyone.
This was written to me.
But maybe God can speak to you also.
I love you dearly.
:)
Monday, July 19, 2010
Just in Case
Before I begin let me say, this is NOT a suicide note. I am not depressed. Though life is troublesome and not easy, I'm completely happy. Promise.
There are just some things I really feel I need to share.
Just in general, and because of the Bible, we know life is fragile and can be taken at any time; but because I am a Christian, moreover a full time missionary, needless to say my life is "dangerous." I've been thinking a lot lately about how short life really is. I mean, honestly, even if we live to be 100, in light of eternity that's nothing.
As many of you who will read this know, I plan to go to China this Christmas. As you well know, they are a communist country and they do not allow Christianity or Bibles. If I am able to go, I will be breaking both of those laws. Whatever. :)
This is a serious situation. Many of these people haven't heard the Gospel and they NEED to. God has placed an enormous passion for the lost and hurting. I will not ignore them.
So, regardless of whether or not I get to go to China this Christmas (or later) or wherever I go: New York, Africa, India, downtown Columbus, not the point. I just wanted everyone that I care about and vice versa to know that no matter what happens to me, I will be happy. If it is God's will for me to die the death of a martyr, I will gladly accept this and rejoice. So I need you all to promise me that you won't be mad if this happens. Not at God or the people who did it. In fact, if it happens and you have the ability, I would like you to tell those people once I leave for Heaven. :) Seriously.
I love you all very much.
No matter who you are, if you're reading this, I love you. More importantly, God loves you.
Pray for me.
I need it.
There are just some things I really feel I need to share.
Just in general, and because of the Bible, we know life is fragile and can be taken at any time; but because I am a Christian, moreover a full time missionary, needless to say my life is "dangerous." I've been thinking a lot lately about how short life really is. I mean, honestly, even if we live to be 100, in light of eternity that's nothing.
As many of you who will read this know, I plan to go to China this Christmas. As you well know, they are a communist country and they do not allow Christianity or Bibles. If I am able to go, I will be breaking both of those laws. Whatever. :)
This is a serious situation. Many of these people haven't heard the Gospel and they NEED to. God has placed an enormous passion for the lost and hurting. I will not ignore them.
So, regardless of whether or not I get to go to China this Christmas (or later) or wherever I go: New York, Africa, India, downtown Columbus, not the point. I just wanted everyone that I care about and vice versa to know that no matter what happens to me, I will be happy. If it is God's will for me to die the death of a martyr, I will gladly accept this and rejoice. So I need you all to promise me that you won't be mad if this happens. Not at God or the people who did it. In fact, if it happens and you have the ability, I would like you to tell those people once I leave for Heaven. :) Seriously.
I love you all very much.
No matter who you are, if you're reading this, I love you. More importantly, God loves you.
Pray for me.
I need it.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
We Are Ungrateful
Though I can't truly speak for everyone, I think it is safe to say that anyone reading this, meaning they have a computer or some device that allows them to have internet access, is or has been ungrateful in life. I know I have. Today I was thinking about the truth of how ungrateful I have been myself. Some of these may apply for you, some may not. You may have others. I just need to get this all out.
I'm ungrateful for my family, many don't have one.
I'm ungrateful for my clothes, some have less than I.
I'm ungrateful for my vehicle, many don't have one.
I'm ungrateful for food, many haven't eaten in days, maybe weeks.
I'm ungrateful for clean water, many have never had any.
I'm ungrateful for showers and bathrooms, many have never had a shower or used a real bathroom.
I'm ungrateful for freedom, I've been quiet while many die for Jesus rejoicing.
I've complained about not having my own room, some families of eight share a single-room 8 by 12 shack.
I've complained about not having nice shoes, when children are forced to work like slaves to make them and many don't have a pair themselves.
I've complained about food not being warm enough, or good enough when over 20,000 children die of starvation everyday.
I've complained about the temperature inside and out, hot and cold when I have so much.
I've complained about being grounded when many children become parents because theirs died of AIDS.
I've complained about every part of my body when many don't have arms, legs, eyes, etc.
I am an ungrateful person.
God has given me everything and I worshiped it.
Eventually, I became fed up with pride and selfishness and asked to be stripped of them completely, not matter what. It meant losing A LOT of things and the battle is still going on.
Seriously, we have no right to complain.
I know I don't.
I'm ungrateful for my family, many don't have one.
I'm ungrateful for my clothes, some have less than I.
I'm ungrateful for my vehicle, many don't have one.
I'm ungrateful for food, many haven't eaten in days, maybe weeks.
I'm ungrateful for clean water, many have never had any.
I'm ungrateful for showers and bathrooms, many have never had a shower or used a real bathroom.
I'm ungrateful for freedom, I've been quiet while many die for Jesus rejoicing.
I've complained about not having my own room, some families of eight share a single-room 8 by 12 shack.
I've complained about not having nice shoes, when children are forced to work like slaves to make them and many don't have a pair themselves.
I've complained about food not being warm enough, or good enough when over 20,000 children die of starvation everyday.
I've complained about the temperature inside and out, hot and cold when I have so much.
I've complained about being grounded when many children become parents because theirs died of AIDS.
I've complained about every part of my body when many don't have arms, legs, eyes, etc.
I am an ungrateful person.
God has given me everything and I worshiped it.
Eventually, I became fed up with pride and selfishness and asked to be stripped of them completely, not matter what. It meant losing A LOT of things and the battle is still going on.
Seriously, we have no right to complain.
I know I don't.
Friday, July 2, 2010
This is Fred
I'm not sure how to begin this post. I wish I could have this conversation with everyone who decides to read it face to face instead of this way, but that's not an easy task at all.
First, thank you for taking time to listen to me ramble and supporting me. I'm not saying this is the last post, but because of my circumstance I don't know how often I will be able to post anymore though I will try.
For those of you who have known me for awhile you've seen me change very much in the last few years, especially the last year and a half of my life. God has truly opened my eyes to many things unseen and changed my heart completely. So many passions. So many desires.
I love all of you guys, very much; but I don't want to be here anymore. Every single day of my life I think about Africa. Every single day. I think about the heat, the beautful people, the starving children, the people so desperate for needs to be met physically and so open the hearing about love. I know many people say people here have needs. Yes, of course they do, but my Father in heaven is calling me elsewhere. People call me crazy all the time. I've actually been told to my face my dreams are stupid." By my family even. "You need to get established and get you a place of your own." Why would I want a house in America to sit completely empty because me never being here? Maybe I think that just picking a degree, getting a job, working all the time to better myself, having no real impact on the world and dying is stupid. I'm sorry, but if your only purpose in life is to survive and get all you can, what's the point? All I know is I have a passion stronger than my desire for things.
As I began growing up everyone bragged on me. "You're so smart and good at working." In time I decided I was so smart and so greedy I wanted to be a doctor and make so much money I wouldn't know what to do with it. I justified myself with "I'll be helping people" only because I wanted the money and it was my job. Jesus, finally got a hold of me and completely changed my views on everything. I don't like war. I hate it. Please don't get me wrong in this but when I talk about this people always ask, well what about our freedom? I reply, what about it? Jesus paid for it over 2000 years ago. My freedom does not come from a country and never will. I do realize people have attacked our country. I know this very well. Should those people be ignored? Not at all, BUT if paying for my freedom means that innocent people must die, whether American or from another country, I don't want it. I feel many people in America worship God because they have the freedom. It's a sad, but I believe to be true, fact. Look at countries in which freedom of religion isn't allowed. Those Christians are the strong ones. We are afraid to tell someone about Jesus because they might laugh. They die for His glory. I've heard many stories of Saints actually singing while being beaten and burned to death. How, they have that kind of relationship with God. We seldom have our Bibles, even at church. Many of them have been stripped of their land and family for owning this precious book. Look at what Jesus said in Matthew 5. Blessed are people that are persecuted for my name's sake. Why? They get the kingdom of Heaven. My heart isn't just in Africa. I want to go to China and smuggle Bibles and have church underground. I no longer hold my life of such a great importance that I won't be risky for God. There are people around this world who have never heard of God the way they need. Or maybe they can't believe because they've never experienced true love regardless of their lifestyle, location, race or sex. My heart isn't just there either. It's in the streets. I long to minister to homeless people. They need to feel love so much. Regardless of their past. Sure, many of them are addicted to drugs and alcohol, but look how desperate they are for something to satisfy them? They don't know where to turn and don't know God. We must show them. Notice I said show and not teach. Sure, teaching is very important but it's more important that we show. We are all called to this work. The very last thing Jesus left us with was the Great Commission. We are ALL called to share the Gospel. Some at home, some in the city, some in the country, some across seas and some everywhere in between. Remember, we are all called to be a disciple, but some are called to something different. I'm one of those. I have been and am being called to full-time life devoted missions. I don't know where all I will go, for how long, or anything. It may be one place for the rest of my life. It may be over 100 places. I don't know or care. I just long to go and show love. I'm not afraid of being homeless, not afraid of being jailed or beaten or even killed because of my life. I am not. In fact, if given the choice, I would choose to die a martyr. Call me crazy, whatever. I've heard it before. For those of you who support me even though it's dangerous and quite crazy, thank you. I love you so much and could not make it without your support, encourgement and mostly prayers. I know I've rambled and haven't made much since. My heart is a mess because I can't contain or control the passion anymore. It's too much for me to ignore. Please, pray for me, because this is what Fred is.
First, thank you for taking time to listen to me ramble and supporting me. I'm not saying this is the last post, but because of my circumstance I don't know how often I will be able to post anymore though I will try.
For those of you who have known me for awhile you've seen me change very much in the last few years, especially the last year and a half of my life. God has truly opened my eyes to many things unseen and changed my heart completely. So many passions. So many desires.
I love all of you guys, very much; but I don't want to be here anymore. Every single day of my life I think about Africa. Every single day. I think about the heat, the beautful people, the starving children, the people so desperate for needs to be met physically and so open the hearing about love. I know many people say people here have needs. Yes, of course they do, but my Father in heaven is calling me elsewhere. People call me crazy all the time. I've actually been told to my face my dreams are stupid." By my family even. "You need to get established and get you a place of your own." Why would I want a house in America to sit completely empty because me never being here? Maybe I think that just picking a degree, getting a job, working all the time to better myself, having no real impact on the world and dying is stupid. I'm sorry, but if your only purpose in life is to survive and get all you can, what's the point? All I know is I have a passion stronger than my desire for things.
As I began growing up everyone bragged on me. "You're so smart and good at working." In time I decided I was so smart and so greedy I wanted to be a doctor and make so much money I wouldn't know what to do with it. I justified myself with "I'll be helping people" only because I wanted the money and it was my job. Jesus, finally got a hold of me and completely changed my views on everything. I don't like war. I hate it. Please don't get me wrong in this but when I talk about this people always ask, well what about our freedom? I reply, what about it? Jesus paid for it over 2000 years ago. My freedom does not come from a country and never will. I do realize people have attacked our country. I know this very well. Should those people be ignored? Not at all, BUT if paying for my freedom means that innocent people must die, whether American or from another country, I don't want it. I feel many people in America worship God because they have the freedom. It's a sad, but I believe to be true, fact. Look at countries in which freedom of religion isn't allowed. Those Christians are the strong ones. We are afraid to tell someone about Jesus because they might laugh. They die for His glory. I've heard many stories of Saints actually singing while being beaten and burned to death. How, they have that kind of relationship with God. We seldom have our Bibles, even at church. Many of them have been stripped of their land and family for owning this precious book. Look at what Jesus said in Matthew 5. Blessed are people that are persecuted for my name's sake. Why? They get the kingdom of Heaven. My heart isn't just in Africa. I want to go to China and smuggle Bibles and have church underground. I no longer hold my life of such a great importance that I won't be risky for God. There are people around this world who have never heard of God the way they need. Or maybe they can't believe because they've never experienced true love regardless of their lifestyle, location, race or sex. My heart isn't just there either. It's in the streets. I long to minister to homeless people. They need to feel love so much. Regardless of their past. Sure, many of them are addicted to drugs and alcohol, but look how desperate they are for something to satisfy them? They don't know where to turn and don't know God. We must show them. Notice I said show and not teach. Sure, teaching is very important but it's more important that we show. We are all called to this work. The very last thing Jesus left us with was the Great Commission. We are ALL called to share the Gospel. Some at home, some in the city, some in the country, some across seas and some everywhere in between. Remember, we are all called to be a disciple, but some are called to something different. I'm one of those. I have been and am being called to full-time life devoted missions. I don't know where all I will go, for how long, or anything. It may be one place for the rest of my life. It may be over 100 places. I don't know or care. I just long to go and show love. I'm not afraid of being homeless, not afraid of being jailed or beaten or even killed because of my life. I am not. In fact, if given the choice, I would choose to die a martyr. Call me crazy, whatever. I've heard it before. For those of you who support me even though it's dangerous and quite crazy, thank you. I love you so much and could not make it without your support, encourgement and mostly prayers. I know I've rambled and haven't made much since. My heart is a mess because I can't contain or control the passion anymore. It's too much for me to ignore. Please, pray for me, because this is what Fred is.
Friday, June 11, 2010
I told you He is listening.
If you're reading this, and you didn't read the last blog about my trip to Birmingham, scroll down now and read it first. This one will be much better if you read it. Trust me. :)
I ended my last blog encouraging you to help someone when you see them in need, because it's what you should do, and I promised you that God will listen when you need help. :)
Yesterday on my way home from work I had a massive blow out. I ended up being stranded for quite some time then, eventually had to walk to get a ride. I have a spare but it's mounted to the bottom on the vehicle and I did not have the tool needed to get it down. I left my vehicle there overnight and this morning had to go to the doctor because I was still sick. After leaving there I went to begin working on the vehicle again, hoping I could manage to get the tire down somehow. As blanco and I pull up what do we see 100 yards from my vehicle, another car, two men, broken down. Their tire had also blown out. So we pull over (we had borrowed mom's vehicle to go work on mine). We made sure they didn't need help and stood by them while they finally got their tire on and I asked to try the tool they used but it didn't work. Anyway, we stayed calm and were about to leave, but all of a sudden, a man pulled over and checked on us. Not only did he have some wood to place my jack on to prevent the jack from sinking so far into the ground and slipping, but of course, as God would ALWAYS do, he had just the tool needed to get my spare tire down. Saving me pain, time and money.
God is good.
Seriously, even when it seems wrong or hard (I had to walk a mile and wait nearly twenty four hours) He still cares.
He still loves you.
He still has the best planned for you.
Amen. Amen.
I ended my last blog encouraging you to help someone when you see them in need, because it's what you should do, and I promised you that God will listen when you need help. :)
Yesterday on my way home from work I had a massive blow out. I ended up being stranded for quite some time then, eventually had to walk to get a ride. I have a spare but it's mounted to the bottom on the vehicle and I did not have the tool needed to get it down. I left my vehicle there overnight and this morning had to go to the doctor because I was still sick. After leaving there I went to begin working on the vehicle again, hoping I could manage to get the tire down somehow. As blanco and I pull up what do we see 100 yards from my vehicle, another car, two men, broken down. Their tire had also blown out. So we pull over (we had borrowed mom's vehicle to go work on mine). We made sure they didn't need help and stood by them while they finally got their tire on and I asked to try the tool they used but it didn't work. Anyway, we stayed calm and were about to leave, but all of a sudden, a man pulled over and checked on us. Not only did he have some wood to place my jack on to prevent the jack from sinking so far into the ground and slipping, but of course, as God would ALWAYS do, he had just the tool needed to get my spare tire down. Saving me pain, time and money.
God is good.
Seriously, even when it seems wrong or hard (I had to walk a mile and wait nearly twenty four hours) He still cares.
He still loves you.
He still has the best planned for you.
Amen. Amen.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
He is certainly listening
Though I already knew it in my heart, yesterday I learned something in a new and special way that spoke louder than it has before. It's a simple fact that has the power to give us all the hope in the world if only we would realize it's truth.
That fact is, that God is certainly listening.
Yesterday because of the excitement of the day ahead, me and some of my friends, who were all staying at my house, had a hard time sleeping. Finally hunger got the best of us so we left for huddle house around 4:30 AM. :)
When we got there our waitress instantly noticed our crosses and our Bibles and struck up conversation. During our time she told us her husband is a pastor and he also does some Christian rap music but really wanted to work with some rock music. This was especially exciting because the friends I was with and I are in the beginning stages of starting one ourselves. :) we got contact information and she wants us to play whenever we get everything ready. Exciting news. :)
So we head back home and take our showers and get everything in order for our road trip to Birmingham.
Before leaving, I of course got everyone around, we held hands and prayed.
Here's where the story all begins. ;)
I asked God to USE us today. To do whatever it took to use us. :)
Oh boy, He was certainly listening.
So we loaded up and headed east.
We had a wonderful time laughing and singing while driving down the road just enjoying the fellowship and we finally made it to Alabama Adventure, rode the rides, got some sun, yeah yeah. (not important) :)
Then, because of the sun and heat my blood sugar began to drop (something we most often consider a bad thing)
Obviously I needed to eat, just like everyone else,
but because one of my friends had lost his wallet I had to pay the admission price for more people than expected. Which left me broke and unable to afford the high price of eating at any place like this. (another thing we consider bad, not having enough money)
So we decide to drive to Birmingham since it was so close, and we wanted the spicy chicken sandwhich from Chic-fil-a. :)
While heading there, because of the confusion of the highways with all the turn offs I messed up and took the wrong one so we had to make a circle to get back to the highway and right before we got back on we saw two cars on the side of the road. No men, just women. Obviously in need. We stopped and found out she had a flat tire and was on a slope. The jack couldn't get the tire high enough because it was a small-cheap-o jack, BUT I had a floor jack. :)
So we stop and help. She instantly began thanking God for us coming by. We told her how we didn't even mean to, but we missed our turn. Duh, it's God. :)
But, we found out that the vehicle was too low to get my jack under it. So now, we don't know what to do, but then another car stops.
A large black man and his wife. He asks if we need help and we explain the problem we have and he says, lets pick it up. So three of us get the front and lift. Cody gets the jack under the car (of course, this man was the biggest reason we lifted the car, no doubt). He then asks if we can handle it from there and we tell him of course, yes. He then explains that he and his wife had JUST lost there son. He had died for some reason and they were literally on the way to the hospital now. They weren't crying though. They said Jesus overcame the grave so they knew their son wasn't in one now. :)
I had to walk off and let Cody finish the work.
I began crying because of what I had just experienced. Not because they lost their son. Even they knew better than that, but because of their unselfishness. These people stopped at a time when everyone in the world would have understood them driving past because they wanted to help.
I saw how selfish I've been in my life. There have been many experiences when I've been in comfort and have passed people by in need of help and not stopped. And I'm not just talking about people broken down on the side of a highway.
There are broken and needy people all around us. Jesus even said the poor will always be with us.
There were other several great things about yesterday but most wouldn't be done justice unless you were there and I don't want to water down anything so I will just leave you with the biggest one to me.
Next time you see someone in need, I urge you to stop.
You'll never know how great your actons will impact them.
Plus, one day you'll be in need and seeking and needing help and when you are you can know,
He is certainly listening. :)
That fact is, that God is certainly listening.
Yesterday because of the excitement of the day ahead, me and some of my friends, who were all staying at my house, had a hard time sleeping. Finally hunger got the best of us so we left for huddle house around 4:30 AM. :)
When we got there our waitress instantly noticed our crosses and our Bibles and struck up conversation. During our time she told us her husband is a pastor and he also does some Christian rap music but really wanted to work with some rock music. This was especially exciting because the friends I was with and I are in the beginning stages of starting one ourselves. :) we got contact information and she wants us to play whenever we get everything ready. Exciting news. :)
So we head back home and take our showers and get everything in order for our road trip to Birmingham.
Before leaving, I of course got everyone around, we held hands and prayed.
Here's where the story all begins. ;)
I asked God to USE us today. To do whatever it took to use us. :)
Oh boy, He was certainly listening.
So we loaded up and headed east.
We had a wonderful time laughing and singing while driving down the road just enjoying the fellowship and we finally made it to Alabama Adventure, rode the rides, got some sun, yeah yeah. (not important) :)
Then, because of the sun and heat my blood sugar began to drop (something we most often consider a bad thing)
Obviously I needed to eat, just like everyone else,
but because one of my friends had lost his wallet I had to pay the admission price for more people than expected. Which left me broke and unable to afford the high price of eating at any place like this. (another thing we consider bad, not having enough money)
So we decide to drive to Birmingham since it was so close, and we wanted the spicy chicken sandwhich from Chic-fil-a. :)
While heading there, because of the confusion of the highways with all the turn offs I messed up and took the wrong one so we had to make a circle to get back to the highway and right before we got back on we saw two cars on the side of the road. No men, just women. Obviously in need. We stopped and found out she had a flat tire and was on a slope. The jack couldn't get the tire high enough because it was a small-cheap-o jack, BUT I had a floor jack. :)
So we stop and help. She instantly began thanking God for us coming by. We told her how we didn't even mean to, but we missed our turn. Duh, it's God. :)
But, we found out that the vehicle was too low to get my jack under it. So now, we don't know what to do, but then another car stops.
A large black man and his wife. He asks if we need help and we explain the problem we have and he says, lets pick it up. So three of us get the front and lift. Cody gets the jack under the car (of course, this man was the biggest reason we lifted the car, no doubt). He then asks if we can handle it from there and we tell him of course, yes. He then explains that he and his wife had JUST lost there son. He had died for some reason and they were literally on the way to the hospital now. They weren't crying though. They said Jesus overcame the grave so they knew their son wasn't in one now. :)
I had to walk off and let Cody finish the work.
I began crying because of what I had just experienced. Not because they lost their son. Even they knew better than that, but because of their unselfishness. These people stopped at a time when everyone in the world would have understood them driving past because they wanted to help.
I saw how selfish I've been in my life. There have been many experiences when I've been in comfort and have passed people by in need of help and not stopped. And I'm not just talking about people broken down on the side of a highway.
There are broken and needy people all around us. Jesus even said the poor will always be with us.
There were other several great things about yesterday but most wouldn't be done justice unless you were there and I don't want to water down anything so I will just leave you with the biggest one to me.
Next time you see someone in need, I urge you to stop.
You'll never know how great your actons will impact them.
Plus, one day you'll be in need and seeking and needing help and when you are you can know,
He is certainly listening. :)
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Ready for the Fight
A few days ago I decided I wanted to begin something new that I know I needed to be doing.
In Matthew 6 in the middle of Jesus' most famous sermon He says: "Ye have heard that it hath been said, thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.
After reading these words and truly taking them to heart, I decided this is what I needed to do.
So the next day, I did so.
I prayed for the people I know hate me. The people who are angry with me and that don't like me. I thought I had did good, but after time had passed I looked back and noticed something. The prayers I had for those people were not the same as the ones for people who loved me like I love them.
The passion wasn't the same.
There wasn't much joy.
Maybe you can relate?
Maybe you've tried to pray for people like these and couldn't.
Or maybe you can't even make yourself do it.
I know I've never been able to before.
Could it be we can only think of their problems?
What they've done to us.
We say we don't judge but does that only apply to people that we love.
I hear Christians say things all the time that bother me like:
That church is full of terrible people, or I can't believe he/she did that. They're horrible.
Sure, we all know people who have done and are doing things that are wrong, but judging is judging is judging.
We cannot justify our actions by the actions of others or by our intentions.
There are many more reasons I could list why we have such a hard time praying for people that hate us, or maybe we hate them even though we shouldn't. That isn't the point of this blog.
So I asked God what was missing because I wanted to pray for and love my enemies with the same passion, confidence, and love as I do those that I pray for daily.
I found that for most of us, the problem comes from confusion. We are looking at the wrong enemy.
If we see people as the enemy we will always have a problem loving everyone.
We will never be able to accept people the way Jesus did.
Now, lets go to Paul's words in Ephesians 6. In verse ten he tells us to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. And to put on the whole armor of God- here's where most people stop. They are so ready to become a warrior but they attack the wrong enemy. If we keep reading he says so that we can stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle NOT against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers and the rulers of darkness.
You see, there is most certainly a war going on.
But we are attacking the wrong power.
Our war is against the devil and powers of darkness.
If we could truly grasp that people are not our enemies, no matter what they may do to us or our family, it would truly change the world.
So, I simply ask you, who have you been fighting against?
If it's against people like most of us, why don't we disarm this physical war and love them.
People are people.
They need love.
They need forgiveness.
They need you.
Remember, there was a time before you accepted Jesus or were just immature and didn't get everything you needed.
Would it have done any good for people to hate you and tell you you're hellbound because you aren't perfect?
No.
I know I'm rambling but I just want us to understand,
we are to love everyone as we love ourselves.
If we could truly get this,
it would change the world. :)
In Matthew 6 in the middle of Jesus' most famous sermon He says: "Ye have heard that it hath been said, thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.
After reading these words and truly taking them to heart, I decided this is what I needed to do.
So the next day, I did so.
I prayed for the people I know hate me. The people who are angry with me and that don't like me. I thought I had did good, but after time had passed I looked back and noticed something. The prayers I had for those people were not the same as the ones for people who loved me like I love them.
The passion wasn't the same.
There wasn't much joy.
Maybe you can relate?
Maybe you've tried to pray for people like these and couldn't.
Or maybe you can't even make yourself do it.
I know I've never been able to before.
Could it be we can only think of their problems?
What they've done to us.
We say we don't judge but does that only apply to people that we love.
I hear Christians say things all the time that bother me like:
That church is full of terrible people, or I can't believe he/she did that. They're horrible.
Sure, we all know people who have done and are doing things that are wrong, but judging is judging is judging.
We cannot justify our actions by the actions of others or by our intentions.
There are many more reasons I could list why we have such a hard time praying for people that hate us, or maybe we hate them even though we shouldn't. That isn't the point of this blog.
So I asked God what was missing because I wanted to pray for and love my enemies with the same passion, confidence, and love as I do those that I pray for daily.
I found that for most of us, the problem comes from confusion. We are looking at the wrong enemy.
If we see people as the enemy we will always have a problem loving everyone.
We will never be able to accept people the way Jesus did.
Now, lets go to Paul's words in Ephesians 6. In verse ten he tells us to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. And to put on the whole armor of God- here's where most people stop. They are so ready to become a warrior but they attack the wrong enemy. If we keep reading he says so that we can stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle NOT against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers and the rulers of darkness.
You see, there is most certainly a war going on.
But we are attacking the wrong power.
Our war is against the devil and powers of darkness.
If we could truly grasp that people are not our enemies, no matter what they may do to us or our family, it would truly change the world.
So, I simply ask you, who have you been fighting against?
If it's against people like most of us, why don't we disarm this physical war and love them.
People are people.
They need love.
They need forgiveness.
They need you.
Remember, there was a time before you accepted Jesus or were just immature and didn't get everything you needed.
Would it have done any good for people to hate you and tell you you're hellbound because you aren't perfect?
No.
I know I'm rambling but I just want us to understand,
we are to love everyone as we love ourselves.
If we could truly get this,
it would change the world. :)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Church steps
Where to even begin this blog.
It's very difficult to find words.
I guess I should just open my heart
and let the truth come out, but this
is no easy story to tell.
My little sister, Loralei, is in San Antonio
right now with her youth group. They
went to be a part of the Beautiful Feet
ministry for a few days. An amazing
ministry I must say because their heart
for those in need is so beautiful.
Anyway, I was texting her earlier to
check in and see how things were going
because I knew that the experience she
was blessed with would be changing her
life in ways that she wasn't ready for.
She told a few positive things but then,
she dropped a bombshell on me.
She told me that as they were waiting
on their food she had been starting out
of the window and across the street she saw
a man sleeping on the steps of a church.
Here's where I begin to lose people.
This mental image was too much for me.
It literally sent me to tears to think about
such a terrible thing to see. Now, don't get
me wrong, being homeless is bad in itself.
Especially when we consider that so many
that are homeless are NOT that way
because of drug addictions or gambling
like we often assume all are. Of course,
some are for those very reasons, but they
still need to see love like the rest of us.
Anyway, that's another story for another day.
The problem I really have with this picture is that it's allowed
How can we ignore such a sight? I'm not
saying that each of us have the means to
bring someone in and feed and clothe them,
even though some of us could, but I know
each of us could help. Even if we just stop and
have a cup of coffee with them and let them know
that you really care about them. But also, many of us
could help them. Some even know ways to become
employeed and I'm sure many would love ANY job.
Please, don't go off assuming things like most do.
I'm speaking to myself more than anyone.
That's why this is my blog.
But I do want to challenge you.
Next time you see anyone in need or even
just feel led to help someone regardless of
their background or situation,
STOP.
Take time to listen to their stories.
Listen to their heart.
Cry with them.
Pray with them.
Show them the love that Jesus has given each of us.
Because I know that when we finally decided we wanted to accept Jesus
He didn't look to see how poor we were, how dirty we were, inside or out,
what sin we were stuck in, or whether or not we "deserved" to be loved.
He just loved.
So please,
LOVE.
It's very difficult to find words.
I guess I should just open my heart
and let the truth come out, but this
is no easy story to tell.
My little sister, Loralei, is in San Antonio
right now with her youth group. They
went to be a part of the Beautiful Feet
ministry for a few days. An amazing
ministry I must say because their heart
for those in need is so beautiful.
Anyway, I was texting her earlier to
check in and see how things were going
because I knew that the experience she
was blessed with would be changing her
life in ways that she wasn't ready for.
She told a few positive things but then,
she dropped a bombshell on me.
She told me that as they were waiting
on their food she had been starting out
of the window and across the street she saw
a man sleeping on the steps of a church.
Here's where I begin to lose people.
This mental image was too much for me.
It literally sent me to tears to think about
such a terrible thing to see. Now, don't get
me wrong, being homeless is bad in itself.
Especially when we consider that so many
that are homeless are NOT that way
because of drug addictions or gambling
like we often assume all are. Of course,
some are for those very reasons, but they
still need to see love like the rest of us.
Anyway, that's another story for another day.
The problem I really have with this picture is that it's allowed
How can we ignore such a sight? I'm not
saying that each of us have the means to
bring someone in and feed and clothe them,
even though some of us could, but I know
each of us could help. Even if we just stop and
have a cup of coffee with them and let them know
that you really care about them. But also, many of us
could help them. Some even know ways to become
employeed and I'm sure many would love ANY job.
Please, don't go off assuming things like most do.
I'm speaking to myself more than anyone.
That's why this is my blog.
But I do want to challenge you.
Next time you see anyone in need or even
just feel led to help someone regardless of
their background or situation,
STOP.
Take time to listen to their stories.
Listen to their heart.
Cry with them.
Pray with them.
Show them the love that Jesus has given each of us.
Because I know that when we finally decided we wanted to accept Jesus
He didn't look to see how poor we were, how dirty we were, inside or out,
what sin we were stuck in, or whether or not we "deserved" to be loved.
He just loved.
So please,
LOVE.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Confession
I apologize in advance for the length.
The title of this blog pretty much fits perfectly for what I'm about to do, but before I begin I would like to ask you, not force, but ask you to pray before going any further. The content of this blog is very personal and I would hope no judgement comes from it, but regardless I must do what is needed. I already know what doing this is going to do for me, but my hope is that in reading this you may understand the importance of confession and may be set free of whatever it is holding you back. Even if it's just guilt.
In this post I want to be as honest and transparent as possible so that you can KNOW that struggle does happen and freedom is possible.
Sadly, I was introduced to porn at a very young age. I don't know exactly what my age was or even remember the first time. Reasons why will become more apparent as I go on. At the age I was introduced I was not saved. I knew about Jesus because of being forced to go to church when I didn't want to, but I had not actually MET Jesus. So, when this force of evil entered my life there was nothing I had to slow it down. I hadn't been prepared or even warned. It just came and slowly grew.
Over the next few years the addiction became worse. Until, at least in my eyes, it was unstoppable.
I began to love this addiction so much that I didn't really care how bad it was. It had been made so appealing and I had become so bad even the things most consider "innocent" which really aren't sent my mind into a terrible frenzy.
A few years later, at the age of 16 I met Jesus and was freed from my addiction, but I never confessed openly to anyone and never shared the problem, therefore was never discipled and sure enough, the world found a way to slowly creep back in. Once it was hooked in the slowly worked ended. It became a monster faster than any train. It began to take over my thoughts throughout the day until I felt I had no means of escape again.
Once the negative attitude came in things got much worse. Without me fighting back my addiction was free to take hold of whatever it wanted, however it wanted. I could go on and on about this but I won't because it's very repetitive, which makes it even more sad.
I became hallow inside. Basically emotionless.
My lust had created a wall between God and I which made it so hard for me to hear or see Him.
It caused me to doubt. Everything. My salvation included.
I cannot count the number of times I "left this addiction at the alter" at camps, retreats, revivals, lock-ins, and Bible studies.
I began to believe I would never be free. I had settled for the fact that I would always struggle with this addcition. It was just a part of life.
I tell you all of this, not to discourage you and make you think it's impossible but to show you what needs to happen to get over, not only THIS addiction, but ANY you or someone you know, might have.
It's called confession.
Now, do not think I'm telling you not to confess to Jesus,because He is the one you need to talk to first. No doubt, especially since He already knows.
But, we aren't called to stop there.
It's not that Jesus can't completely heal us Himself, because we all know He can.
The reason we need to confess our sins to one another is because it creates community and that's what God has designed us to be apart of.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16
In no way am I saying that everyone needs to create a blog or post all of their sins on facebook for everyone to see. But I AM saying that you need to have or find some people you truly trust and do so with them. Because I assure you, if you have or find the right people, they won't judge you. They will love you and encourage you as much as needed. You may even find out they do/did suffer with the same thing.
I hope with everything in me that this doesn't change how you look at me. I can tell you that I'm doing better now. But I felt so guilty that I needed to confess and I know the temptation with still come around. So please, pray for me. I know I need it.
Also, if you don't have someone you feel you can talk to and trust, I would be GLAD to become that person for you. Obviously, I'm in no position to judge. :)
I leave you with this:
Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that IT might leave me. And He has said to me, My Grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; fo when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
The title of this blog pretty much fits perfectly for what I'm about to do, but before I begin I would like to ask you, not force, but ask you to pray before going any further. The content of this blog is very personal and I would hope no judgement comes from it, but regardless I must do what is needed. I already know what doing this is going to do for me, but my hope is that in reading this you may understand the importance of confession and may be set free of whatever it is holding you back. Even if it's just guilt.
In this post I want to be as honest and transparent as possible so that you can KNOW that struggle does happen and freedom is possible.
Sadly, I was introduced to porn at a very young age. I don't know exactly what my age was or even remember the first time. Reasons why will become more apparent as I go on. At the age I was introduced I was not saved. I knew about Jesus because of being forced to go to church when I didn't want to, but I had not actually MET Jesus. So, when this force of evil entered my life there was nothing I had to slow it down. I hadn't been prepared or even warned. It just came and slowly grew.
Over the next few years the addiction became worse. Until, at least in my eyes, it was unstoppable.
I began to love this addiction so much that I didn't really care how bad it was. It had been made so appealing and I had become so bad even the things most consider "innocent" which really aren't sent my mind into a terrible frenzy.
A few years later, at the age of 16 I met Jesus and was freed from my addiction, but I never confessed openly to anyone and never shared the problem, therefore was never discipled and sure enough, the world found a way to slowly creep back in. Once it was hooked in the slowly worked ended. It became a monster faster than any train. It began to take over my thoughts throughout the day until I felt I had no means of escape again.
Once the negative attitude came in things got much worse. Without me fighting back my addiction was free to take hold of whatever it wanted, however it wanted. I could go on and on about this but I won't because it's very repetitive, which makes it even more sad.
I became hallow inside. Basically emotionless.
My lust had created a wall between God and I which made it so hard for me to hear or see Him.
It caused me to doubt. Everything. My salvation included.
I cannot count the number of times I "left this addiction at the alter" at camps, retreats, revivals, lock-ins, and Bible studies.
I began to believe I would never be free. I had settled for the fact that I would always struggle with this addcition. It was just a part of life.
I tell you all of this, not to discourage you and make you think it's impossible but to show you what needs to happen to get over, not only THIS addiction, but ANY you or someone you know, might have.
It's called confession.
Now, do not think I'm telling you not to confess to Jesus,because He is the one you need to talk to first. No doubt, especially since He already knows.
But, we aren't called to stop there.
It's not that Jesus can't completely heal us Himself, because we all know He can.
The reason we need to confess our sins to one another is because it creates community and that's what God has designed us to be apart of.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16
In no way am I saying that everyone needs to create a blog or post all of their sins on facebook for everyone to see. But I AM saying that you need to have or find some people you truly trust and do so with them. Because I assure you, if you have or find the right people, they won't judge you. They will love you and encourage you as much as needed. You may even find out they do/did suffer with the same thing.
I hope with everything in me that this doesn't change how you look at me. I can tell you that I'm doing better now. But I felt so guilty that I needed to confess and I know the temptation with still come around. So please, pray for me. I know I need it.
Also, if you don't have someone you feel you can talk to and trust, I would be GLAD to become that person for you. Obviously, I'm in no position to judge. :)
I leave you with this:
Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that IT might leave me. And He has said to me, My Grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; fo when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Read with caution
Yesterday, the 22nd day of May, was a special day for me. My best friend Mallorie was graduating from Mooreville so of course I had to travel to tupelo to support her. Also, the school that caused some conflict because of canceling prom over a girl wanting to bring her girlfriend to prom, was graduating as well. I had found in recent weeks that people from Westboro church were coming to protest with their signs and such. Because of the things God has worked in me recently, and because I would already be in tupelo, I wanted to go, but not for the same reason as most people. I knew some people were only coming because they didn't like the people of westboro telling them they can't be gay. But I know many people who claim the name of Jesus who wanted to go as well. To argue. Please, from this point on read carefully. I'm not judging anyone in this story, just telling what happened. Anyway, I did not want to go to fight or argue or curse either side. I wanted to go to show love. Perfect, blameless love that is given regardless of people's backgrounds, beliefs, circumstances and choices. I know that, by going to that graduation and mocking the people from westboro would not accomplish anything. It would not change their hearts or minds and it would only breed anger. So I set out just to show love. To everyone, regardless of whether or not they agreed with me. So when we showed up, which I can admit now, I was not ready for something this big. Definitely should have prepared with much more prayer time. Anyway, we show up and began walking towards the people and the closer I got the more uneasy I felt. I began to hear the things being said, yelled and sung. I started seeing the actions of those around and my heart began to break. In less than two minutes I had seen enough evil to completely break my spirit and cause me to tremble and cry like a small child among the crowd. And if you're reading this, you're probably going to assume the same thing almost everyone did when I told them. "Oh I'm so sorry those people from Westboro upset you." but if that's your thinking then you're wrong. I did not hear a single word the people on the other side said. I didn't even see a sign until I left and had to pass them. The people who broke my heart were the very people on the same side of the road as me. The ones claiming the name of Jesus. They sang songs such as Jesus Loves Me in a sarcastic manner showing that Jesus loved them because they are a Christian and not the people of Westboro. There was a man waving a huge american flag. Tons of military people, whom which received the greatest support from the people on our side. Now this is where I don't want you to get me wrong. I am in no way hating on our country or the people in our military. The reason this was heart-breaking to me was because the 'Christians' were all boasting and proclaiming our country and our military and NOT Jesus. There was not on a speck of love to be seen even though there were plenty of signs with the words. Walking into this felt like a war zone and not a place of love.
I'm not aruging whether the people of westboro are right or wrong. We all know what the Bible says. My point is there was NO ONE there showing love. All they wanted to do was scorn, mock and hate the people across the street.
If this is how we represent the LOVE of GOD, no wonder so many people refuse to accept Jesus.
I'm not aruging whether the people of westboro are right or wrong. We all know what the Bible says. My point is there was NO ONE there showing love. All they wanted to do was scorn, mock and hate the people across the street.
If this is how we represent the LOVE of GOD, no wonder so many people refuse to accept Jesus.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
He can see you
So I definitely don't mean for the title of this blog to sound anything like a creeper. I kinda realized how it sounded after I put it, BUT it's fitting so I don't care. No offense, but that's why it's my blog. :)
So a few weeks ago I had this HUGE revelation that has COMPLETELY blown my mind and changed my life it two major aspects: Joy and conviction. Both of which are essential to living a Christian life.
Anyway, God has really shown, and continued to show me, this thing that has radically messed me up and I thought sharing would be nice. :)
So here it goes:
I know if you're a Christian you probably 'know' what I'm about to say. I 'knew' it too. But sometimes we know things but don't actually have a life-changing encounter with them so I wanna talk about it in hopes that it will help you, maybe.
Think about this fact: that God, Almight Father, Creator of the ENTIRE universe, Holder of all our dreams, and the earth not only CAN but CHOOSES to DWELL with YOU! I don't mean that He sits on a throne up in Heaven and watches you. I mean God, THE GOD, walks around with you! When you're sitting at your house and decide to drive to the store really quick to get a bag of chips He cares so much about you that He follows you on this, what we might see as, unimportant trip. He rides in the car, walks down the street, sits in your house, and watches you while you sleep. When we are praying we often think, at least I do, that our prayers have to travel a great distance, go through space and all that jazz then get to God. This will leave you with doubt as to if He even got your prayer. But this isn't TRUE! When you're down on your knees before God He is literally right BEFORE you! Ahh! What a refreshing and encouraging thought to think that God, in the mist of His busy schedule, He does run the universe, cares so much about you that He would still choose to hang out with you. :) mmmhh. good stuff.
But with this knowledge has come great conviction and I'm sure most of you know where I'm going with this. Because He is always around, He sees us at our worse. When we go where we shouldn't, listen to what we shouldn't, do what we shouldn't, say what we shouldn't, whatever, He goes, He hears and He sees. This thought breaks my heart to think that I, in my selfishness, but God through such evil and darkness.
But I want you to listen to me:
Do not let this message bring you down into sadness because of how much you mess up, conviction, absolutely. Without that we might as well not be Christians. But I want you to remember the beginning of this blog.
That God is ALWAYS with you!
That means despite your screw ups, you failures, your scars, He still loves you and still cares about you.
Always.
Always.
He died on a cross just so you would always have the proof.
I love you! I really do!
So a few weeks ago I had this HUGE revelation that has COMPLETELY blown my mind and changed my life it two major aspects: Joy and conviction. Both of which are essential to living a Christian life.
Anyway, God has really shown, and continued to show me, this thing that has radically messed me up and I thought sharing would be nice. :)
So here it goes:
I know if you're a Christian you probably 'know' what I'm about to say. I 'knew' it too. But sometimes we know things but don't actually have a life-changing encounter with them so I wanna talk about it in hopes that it will help you, maybe.
Think about this fact: that God, Almight Father, Creator of the ENTIRE universe, Holder of all our dreams, and the earth not only CAN but CHOOSES to DWELL with YOU! I don't mean that He sits on a throne up in Heaven and watches you. I mean God, THE GOD, walks around with you! When you're sitting at your house and decide to drive to the store really quick to get a bag of chips He cares so much about you that He follows you on this, what we might see as, unimportant trip. He rides in the car, walks down the street, sits in your house, and watches you while you sleep. When we are praying we often think, at least I do, that our prayers have to travel a great distance, go through space and all that jazz then get to God. This will leave you with doubt as to if He even got your prayer. But this isn't TRUE! When you're down on your knees before God He is literally right BEFORE you! Ahh! What a refreshing and encouraging thought to think that God, in the mist of His busy schedule, He does run the universe, cares so much about you that He would still choose to hang out with you. :) mmmhh. good stuff.
But with this knowledge has come great conviction and I'm sure most of you know where I'm going with this. Because He is always around, He sees us at our worse. When we go where we shouldn't, listen to what we shouldn't, do what we shouldn't, say what we shouldn't, whatever, He goes, He hears and He sees. This thought breaks my heart to think that I, in my selfishness, but God through such evil and darkness.
But I want you to listen to me:
Do not let this message bring you down into sadness because of how much you mess up, conviction, absolutely. Without that we might as well not be Christians. But I want you to remember the beginning of this blog.
That God is ALWAYS with you!
That means despite your screw ups, you failures, your scars, He still loves you and still cares about you.
Always.
Always.
He died on a cross just so you would always have the proof.
I love you! I really do!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Let's Be Smart
Obviously, when talking about being smart there are certain things that need to be done. One of the most crucial is making wise decsions.
Proverbs 3:1-10 talks about being wise and choosing our paths carefully. And of course we all know verses 5 and 6 say to trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding.
So think about it, who are you following? Are you serious about it?
Lots of times we either aren't following the will of God or we claim we are but aren't serious in it.
Jesus doesn't ask for a kinda-sorta commitment. This is the same guy who told people to leave their boats, jobs, family essentially, their lives to follow Him.
God doesn't want contributers to His work. He wants fully devoted servants. :)
Do you trust God with everything, or just the things you don't want to deal with?
Your life or just small things?
Your wants or everything?
God doesn't want us to see our entire future. He wants us to trust and follow Him day in and day out. Sometimes God doesn't answer us the way we want and we assume there is no answer at all. Just because God said no or to wait doesn't mean He ignored us.
You must trust Him everyday with every situation or you might as well not trust Him at all. Exercise that faith by allowing God to prove to you He has the best in mind for you!
I mean lets think about the decisions made in your life.
How many times when YOU made the decision has something, or everything, gone wrong?
How many times has God been wrong?
Do NOT lean on your own understanding.
We have earthly minds that cannot comprehend the greatness of plans that are made in preparation for eternity!
Following God will make your paths straight. Don't confuse me, I didn't say easy, I just said straight. Christianity isn't easy, but it's not complicated.
If God isn't first in your life, then what's stopping Him?
What would happen if we completely and totally committed our entire life to Christ? All our strength, all our thoughts, our struggles, our pains, our wants, our addictions, our past, present and future.
Maybe we should give it a try? :)
Proverbs 3:1-10 talks about being wise and choosing our paths carefully. And of course we all know verses 5 and 6 say to trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding.
So think about it, who are you following? Are you serious about it?
Lots of times we either aren't following the will of God or we claim we are but aren't serious in it.
Jesus doesn't ask for a kinda-sorta commitment. This is the same guy who told people to leave their boats, jobs, family essentially, their lives to follow Him.
God doesn't want contributers to His work. He wants fully devoted servants. :)
Do you trust God with everything, or just the things you don't want to deal with?
Your life or just small things?
Your wants or everything?
God doesn't want us to see our entire future. He wants us to trust and follow Him day in and day out. Sometimes God doesn't answer us the way we want and we assume there is no answer at all. Just because God said no or to wait doesn't mean He ignored us.
You must trust Him everyday with every situation or you might as well not trust Him at all. Exercise that faith by allowing God to prove to you He has the best in mind for you!
I mean lets think about the decisions made in your life.
How many times when YOU made the decision has something, or everything, gone wrong?
How many times has God been wrong?
Do NOT lean on your own understanding.
We have earthly minds that cannot comprehend the greatness of plans that are made in preparation for eternity!
Following God will make your paths straight. Don't confuse me, I didn't say easy, I just said straight. Christianity isn't easy, but it's not complicated.
If God isn't first in your life, then what's stopping Him?
What would happen if we completely and totally committed our entire life to Christ? All our strength, all our thoughts, our struggles, our pains, our wants, our addictions, our past, present and future.
Maybe we should give it a try? :)
Honestly...
Honestly, I did not create this blog for others. I am not and will not write for anyone's praise. I'm writing because I like to write. It's my best way of expressing things and also, it's the way God is able to speak to me the best. Funny how he uses your own words to get your attention. Despite the fact that I'm not writing for anyone else, I do not mind people reading them. Being open about your problems and struggles helps one stay humble, and boy do I need that. So feel free to read. Just don't judge. I say that for your benefit, not mine. If something I say hits you in the stomach or makes you uneasy, it may just be God speaking to you so please, don't read these and then message me telling me how terrible I am or judging me, because I can tell you now I'm a far cry from perfect, but I'm trying. Anyway, enough of the boring. Next post will be time to get to business.
If you're reading this, I love you! Not because you're reading, but because you're you. :)
More importantly, God loves you.
If you're reading this, I love you! Not because you're reading, but because you're you. :)
More importantly, God loves you.
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