Theology:
*What do you believe about...everything? I believe in the
ONE true God. I believe in the trinity. I believe that Jesus is fully God. I
believe the Holy Spirit is fully God. I believe that God created the earth and
man perfectly to be in constant and perfect fellowship with Himself to worship
and serve God. I believe that, through temptation from Satan, the woman and man
both rebelled against God. They chose their own will over what God had
commanded and thus became guilty before God. I believe that those two and every
person to have walked the earth, and all who will, are endlessly hopeless and condemned
to eternal separation apart from the blood of Jesus Christ that was shed by Christ
to accept and endure the wrath of God on the behalf of all creation. I believe
that if you chose to accept this Christ His righteousness will be imputed for
you and you will once and for all be reconciled to God and thus stand innocent
on the day of judgment. I believe that this is ONLY done as an act of faith and
cannot be accomplished by any man’s work.
*Perhaps read through the Desiring God Affirmation of Faith
to see where each other is on various biblical doctrines.
*Discover how you form your views. What is the
reasoning-believing process? How do you handle the Bible? I answered most of
this in the first question, but to address the Bible more specifically, I
believe that the Bible is the absolute Word of God and should be treated as
such. I believe we should read and memorize, study and apply, share and teach.
Worship and Devotion:
*How important is corporate worship? Other participation in
church life? Corporate worship is not an option, but a commandment. I believe
that service, in the capacity you have been given, is also a commandment.
*How important is it to be part of a small
accountability/support group? Necessary. I will not join a church that doesn’t
have small groups because they and the confession and accountability that come
from them are a commandment and needed to experience growth and to stay on the
path of pursing righteousness.
*What is the importance of music in life and worship? Music
in general and in worship is important. I do not believe it is required for
worship, but I do believe it is an outlet in which we CAN worship. Romans 12:1
tells us that our lives themselves are worship and sacrifice, therefore
anything we do that isn’t sin can and should be worship.
*What are your daily personal devotional practices? Prayer,
reading, meditation, memorization. I like to start and end my day with reading
and prayer. I believe that study should be a part of your daily schedule- not
just reading.
*What would our family devotions look like? Who leads out in
this? Family devotions would be our whole family. We would all participate and
it would happen everyday. We can sing and we WILL read and pray. We will not
avoid certain stories in the Bible. We will teach in the capacity our kids are
old enough to understand. We will encourage them to read on their own as we do.
We would ask tough questions and answer them as well. I, being the man, would
be the leader, but certainly not the only speaker, in this.
*Are we doing this now in an appropriate way: praying
together about our lives and future, reading the Bible together?
Husband and Wife:
*What is the meaning of headship and submission in the Bible
and in our marriage? I believe this puts me in not only a place of great
leadership but also great responsibility. I am held accountable for my family
and their lives. I believe it is up to me to lead the family in the direction
that God wants us to take. I believe that the woman is to be submissive and the
husband to serve and honor his wife. Notice that I said the husband should
serve his wife. The leadership role of a husband doesn’t make him a dictator.
Like a good boss who is willing and will complete the task he asks or expects
of his helpers, a husband should joyfully serve his wife and the wife her
husband.
*What are expectations about situations where one of you
might be alone with someone of the opposite sex? This should be avoided at all
costs. It has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with being
responsible and avoiding giving sin an occasion, which is biblical.
*How are tasks shared in the home: cleaning, cooking,
washing dishes, yard work, car upkeep, repairs, shopping for food, and
household stuff? Mutual. Obviously there will be tasks each of us prefer doing
and likely do more often, that is okay. Yard work, repairs, and hard labor are
reserved for the male (unless my wife enjoys those things in which case she is
free to do or help in). I would like, when possible to do most chores,
especially grocery shopping together.
*What are the expectations for togetherness? I believe we
should be together. I don’t like the idea of being separate for long periods of
time (I realize being in the military might cause problems from time to time).
I believe that we should do things we enjoy, together. I believe we should
encourage and build one another up. I believe the purpose of our relationship
is the same as person’s –to worship and glorify God.
*What is an ideal non-special evening? There is no such
thing. There are only nights that are extra special.
*How do you understand who and how often sex is initiated?
This one is tricky. I don’t really know how to answer it. I believe it should
ALWAYS be mutual, obviously. And there are no rules on how often. That is one
of the beautiful things about marriage.
*Who does the checkbook—or are there two? There are not two
checkbooks, in the sense that we have accounts that are just ours. Two people
become one in marriage. Mine is yours. Yours is mine. I believe finances should
be discussed and more importantly prayed over and in the event of a decision,
because I am the leader, final say comes to me, but that doesn’t give the right
to abuse that power to get my way, ever.
Children:
*If and when, should we have children? Why? TONS. Lord
willing.
*How many? Oh…. TONS.
*How far apart? I don’t have a set standard, but it should
be far enough apart as to not overwhelm us.
*Would we consider adoption? MANDATORY.
*What are the standards of behavior? Our children shall act
like children of God. Obviously they will not be perfect, but they will respect
all people, especially adults. The will not throw fits to get their way because
that behavior will not be tolerated nor will we give in and teach them mentally
that throwing a fit is a way to get what you want. We will be involved in their
personal lives. We will monitor them closely. We will set standards and keep
the ones we set before them (minus ones that we are free from because of
marriage. Yes I’m talking about SEX).
*What are the appropriate ways to discipline them? How many
strikes before they’re...whatever? Physical, within reason. I say three strikes
is plenty. I also believe that taking away privileges is a wonderful means at
getting kids attention. I believe that punishment should be agreed upon by
mother and father.
*What are the expectations of time spent with them and when
they go to bed? I believe we should always be intentional with the time spent
with our kids. Phones will be off limits during times of eating and nightly
devotionals. I believe bed time is directly tied to their age.
*What signs of affection will you show them? This too is
crucial. I believe kisses are always in order. I vow to kiss my children
goodnight and before I or they leave everyday. I believe we should tell them we
love them, regardless of age. I believe we should do things that show we care
and love them and understand them.
*What about school? Home school? Christian school? Public
school? I was public school my entire life. I am not huge on home school. I
would be more than willing to pay for a Christian school provided they teach
the true doctrine, the leaders live it out, they were not allowed to be rambunctious
(starts at home first) and we could afford it.
Lifestyle:
*Own a home or not? Why? I believe in buying simply because
renting is spending money without truly earning something and I do not see it
as spending God’s money the best.
*What kind of neighborhood? Why? Safe.
*How many cars? New? Used? As many as needed at the time.
Never brand new, unless the deal is unbeatable; nothing overly fancy or more
than we need, but my wife’s car WILL be reliable and sound.
*View of money in general. How much to the church? All of
the money is God’s. Tithe 10% and give as God directs more.
*How do you make money decisions? Prayer.
*Where will you buy clothes: Department store? Thrift store?
In between? Why? Both. All will be in good condition though. Never soiled or
filled with holes.
Entertainment:
*How much money should we spend on entertainment? I dare
never to say that entertainment should never happen, but it should be within
reason and never excessive. As I said, it’s God’s money and I don’t want to be
the one to waste it all foolishly on my own fancies.
*How often should we eat out? Where? Seldom. I prefer
cooking together. But when the occasion rises, where she likes. Never Mcdonald’s.
*What kind of vacations are appropriate and helpful for us?
Ones we CAN afford. Ones that give us an opportunity to relax and get away from
the normal routine, but an opportunity to serve and worship God should not be
excluded.
*How many toys? Snowmobile, boat, cabin? Eh. Haven’t I
talked about my view of money enough? These things, though they aren’t evil,
seem unnecessary-at least to own. I am not opposed to renting or sharing them.
*Should we have a television? Where? What is fitting to
watch? How much? I am okay with one tv. In the den or living room. Only things
that do not oppose our Christian faith. But still very minimal.
*What are the criteria for movies and theater? What will our
guidelines be for the kids? If we won’t let our kids watch it we shouldn’t ( if
the reason is for moral causes).
Conflict:
*What makes you angry? Lying.
*How do you handle your frustration or anger? I usually run.
*Who should bring up an issue that is bothersome? Both or
whomever is bothered.
*What if we disagree both about what should be done, and
whether it is serious? We shall mule over it until the situation is resolved.
No issues will ever be ignored or swept under the rug.
*Will we go to bed angry at each other? Never. Because we
will pray together before bed every night.
*What is our view of getting help from friends or
counselors? Small groups? Accountability? Of course!
Work:
*Who is the main breadwinner? Husband.
*Should the wife work outside the home? Before kids? With
kids at home? After kids? If she wants/ we need for all three. I am completely
okay with her staying at home.
*What are your views of daycare for children? The same as
school. Christian in affiliation and action, reasonable.
*What determines where you will locate? Job? Whose job?
Church? Family? God. Church. Uncle sam, for some time.
Friends:
*Is it good to do things with friends but without spouse? It
can be, but only friends of the same gender and only if it is morally sound. If
people of the opposite gender are involved the spouse should be there.
*What will you do if one of you really likes to hang out
with so and so and the other doesn’t? We will come to an agreement based on the
criteria above, or cut the time with that person.
Health and Sickness:
*Do you have, or have you had any, sicknesses or physical
problems that could affect our relationship? (Allergies, cancer, eating
disorders, venereal disease, etc.) NOPE.
*Do you believe in divine healing and how would prayer
relate to medical attention? Yes. God is trusted first and foremost with the matters of life, but medicine is a gift.
Though I do not believe in taking medicines every day under normal
circumstances.
*How do you think about exercise and healthy eating? The
body is a temple. It should be kept clean and healthy.
*Do you have any habits that adversely affect health? Nope.
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